Trust Your Instincts.

20 years ago, as I awaited the birth of my first son, my Aunt gave me the gift of this advice. I have gone back to the Talisman that is this message time, and time again.

For me, listening to my instincts always begins with stillness. A pause. A return to myself. A silencing of the constant messaging from “out there”.

In a culture where we are taught to look outside for guidance, coupled with an inner quest for knowledge it is all too common to become overwhelmed with opinions and information.

I possess an impressive library of wellness books, self-help books, and philosophy books. I have a full library of podcasts saved to my phone’s library. While these have all been helpful resources along my journey, the habitual reach for outer inspiration can easily slip into the realm of distracting wellness entertainment.

The habitual reach? Yep, you guessed it. That’s acting from impulse.

The impulse response is typically activated during times of stress, or overwhelm. Its expression can be outward (acting out, losing your sh*t, devouring a carton of ice cream, nervously asking everyone around you for advice), or it can present inward (closing yourself off, ghosting friends and family, not wanting to get out of bed)

While some of those examples do have value in their own time and place, when you use them from a place of panic or desperation, the result is often less than beneficial.

I have felt this sensation often. The shallow breath. The lump in the center of the chest. I have cultivated a practice (and yes, it takes practice) of using these signals as a message to pause, and find that inner voice. The Instinct.

So, how do you get there? How do you develop the sensitivity to guide yourself from the fear-based response of Impulse, to the peace-based response of Instinct?

1. Learn to recognize the sound of your own voice. This can be the actual sound of your voice, or it can also be the physical sensations your body experiences. I spend a considerable amount of time developing this skill with my clients. It is a touchpoint that you will return to again, and again as you reach new stages in your life, and as you progress with cultivating this sensitivity.

2. Understand that it is ok to pause. Unless you are in an actual emergency situation, nothing is going to unravel by you taking a moment to gather the amount of composure required for you to make a peace-based instinctual decision.

3. Practice breathwork (Pranayama) and meditation. A daily practice of these techniques will help create a bodymind connection. Over time, you will develop a type of muscle memory wherein you will make a quicker transition into that instinctual space.

4. Give yourself grace. Breaking of patterns is difficult work, and requires commitment. Most of all, it requires Love. Radical Self love. Radical grace and kindness to yourself.

5. Realize that you are not alone. If you are struggling to create a support team, then please join the Transforming Migraine group on FB. It is my free support community for people living with Migraine.